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Dealing with a Short Tempered Husband


Coping with a short tempered husband can be challenging.  It requires patience, understanding, and a well-thought-out approach.  When your partner frequently exhibits anger, it affects the dynamics of your relationship and your well-being.

This blog explores the effects of a partner’s temper on you, provides 10 strategies for managing these situations, understands the potential for change, and advises on when professional help may be necessary.


Living with a short-tempered husband can take a toll on your emotional and physical health. It’s not unusual to experience increased anxiety, stress, or even fear, depending on the intensity and frequency of the outbursts.  Over time, these conditions can lead to more significant health problems, such as depression or hypertension.

The American Psychological Association highlights the impact of stress on physical well-being, indicating the significant effects that living in a tense environment can have on an individual.

Additionally, it can strain your relationship, leading to a decrease in communication and intimacy. You may find yourself walking on eggshells, constantly trying to avoid potential triggers, which can be mentally exhausting and unsustainable in the long term.


Coping with a short-tempered husband can be mentally draining. However, with the right approach and strategies, you can navigate this tricky terrain and discover ways to improve your relationship quality. Here are 10 strategies to deal with a short-tempered husband:

Strategy 1: Keep Calm

When your husband loses his temper, your instinct might be to respond in kind. However, this often escalates the situation. Instead, try to remain calm, speak softly, and avoid making impulsive statements. Reacting in tranquility can be the silver bullet to diffuse heated situations.

Strategy 2: Give Space

When tension rises, taking a step back can be beneficial. Giving space can prevent imminent arguments and facilitate cool-down periods. This period can assist in thinking through and addressing the issue constructively later.

Strategy 3: Set Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any relationship; they espouse respect and consideration for both parties’ feelings. Communicate what is acceptable behavior and decline participation in potential heated confrontations.

Strategy 4: Active Listening

Active listening is consciously paying full attention, reflecting, and responding thoughtfully to your spouse. It is a potent tool that often helps the other person feel acknowledged and heard, leading to more tranquil communication.

Strategy 5: Seek Understanding

Short tempers often mask deeper issues. It could be stress at work, personal insecurities, health issues, or undefined frustrations. You can address the problem more effectively by understanding the root cause.

Strategy 6: Use “I” Statements

Instead of blaming or accusing your husband, try communicating your feelings through “I” statements. This approach can prevent defensive reactions and facilitate healthier dialogues.

Strategy 7: Establish a Signal System

A discrete and agreed-upon symbol or phrase can serve as a reminder when tempers are escalating. This undirected prompt can help your spouse realize his tone and control it.

Strategy 8: Encourage Therapy

Professional help can be invaluable when dealing with mood and anger issues. Therapists can provide tools and strategies to manage anger, fostering an opportunity for change.

Strategy 9: Self-care

While dealing with your short-tempered husband, do not neglect your own needs. Get involved in activities that reduce stress and help you maintain your emotional balance.

Strategy 10: Maintain a Strong Support Network

Having a support network can provide emotional solace during challenging times. Friends and family not only offer comfort but also provide different perspectives on handling tough situations.


Living with a short tempered husband can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. The critical question is whether someone with anger issues can genuinely change. Can your short-tempered husband significantly reduce his anger or, better yet, overcome it altogether?

People with anger issues can change. However, it requires real intentionality and often professional intervention for significant improvement. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, anger management courses, mindfulness, and medication may help. The American Psychological Association acknowledges the beneficial effects of cognitive behavioral therapy on anger management.

The Potential for Change

Change in individuals with anger issues is not only possible but also backed by substantial clinical evidence. The Mayo Clinic asserts that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for managing anger issues. CBT primarily works by helping the individual cultivate healthier and constructive responses to triggering situations.

Instead of reacting automatically with anger, the short-tempered husband learns different coping mechanisms, allowing him to respond more calmly and rationally to potentially agitating scenarios.

The Desire for Change

The desire for change is a vital element to foster improvement. A short-tempered husband should acknowledge the need for change and consciously work towards it. This acknowledgment requires humility and a sense of self-awareness, marking the starting point for the improvement journey.

The Need for Professional Help

In some cases, anger can be managed with the right strategies and a supportive environment. But for severe anger issues or when the anger is embedded in deeper psychological issues or past traumas, professional guidance is recommended.  Trained therapists or counselors can provide tools, recommend actions, and provide support through this journey toward change.

Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to the individual’s commitment to self-improvement.


Understanding the nuances behind a short tempered husband’s outbursts is like peeling an onion; beneath each layer lies a deeper complexity beyond mere irritability. Relationships, often complex, can be significantly strained when one partner consistently responds with anger. It is essential to unearth and address the root causes of this anger to promote a healthy, nurturing bond.

Underlying Emotional Triggers

Stress is a frequent culprit behind a husband’s short temper. When life’s pressures—at work, financial burdens, or personal challenges—accumulate, they can spill over into the relationship. The American Psychological Association emphasizes that stress can provoke anger, which is sometimes misdirected and affects loved ones.

Communication Breakdown

An often-overlooked cause is a lack of effective communication, which causes frustration to bubble into anger. If a short-tempered husband feels misunderstood or perceives that his words have no impact, these feelings of helplessness can catalyze rage. Similarly, when communication styles clash, it may hinder the ability to resolve conflicts constructively.

Unmet Expectations

It’s natural for individuals in relationships to have expectations. However, when these expectations are not met, they may provoke negative emotional responses. It could be expectations around shared responsibilities or emotional needs that, when unfulfilled, lead to feelings of disappointment that can easily morph into anger.

Learned Behavior Patterns

A short-tempered husband may have learned to express himself through anger during his formative years. This behavior pattern could mimic the dynamics he witnessed in his family or previous relationships. Changing these ingrained behaviors requires conscious effort and often professional assistance.

Psychological Health

Mental health conditions can contribute to a short temper. For instance, depression or anxiety disorders can heighten irritability and angry responses. The Mental Health Foundation notes that long-term unresolved anger is harmful to mental health.

Fear and Insecurity

Fear and insecurity are potent emotional forces that can drive a person to anger. A husband’s fear of vulnerability, fear of loss, or feeling insecure in his role in the relationship can manifest as anger, often as a defense mechanism to protect himself from perceived emotional harm.

Physical Factors

Another significant consideration is the role of physical health in mood regulation. Issues like chronic pain, sleep deprivation, or hormonal imbalances can lower tolerance levels and increase irritability, according to research on sleep and emotion regulation.


Knowing when to seek external aid is crucial. If your husband’s anger translates into any form of abuse, it’s necessary to seek help immediately. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides vital resources and support.

Other signs necessitating help can include:

  • Failed attempts to control the anger internally.
  • Significant disruptions in your relationship or family dynamic due to the anger.
  • Presence of underlying mental health issues.
  • Constant fear and anxiety concerning the next rage eruption.



While dealing with a short tempered husband can be challenging, remember that there are strategies that can provide a blueprint for effectively managing anger.Open communication, boundary setting, active listening, clinical intervention when required, and self-care are all integral in dealing with this issue.  Understanding the capacity and the steps necessary for change, alongside recognizing when to seek help, is crucial for building a healthy, respectful relationship.

A short tempered husband can overcome anger issues, but it takes understanding, patience, and commitment to bring about this transformation. It might be challenging, but with the right therapeutic approach, a supportive environment, and a firm desire for change, your husband can manage and even overcome his temper issues.

Remember, change may take time, and small improvements signify progression toward a healthier and happier relationship. If you’re dealing with a short-tempered husband, it’s time to take positive steps towards improved understanding and harmony.


Relate Counseling offers a wide range of services, including marriage and couples counselingfamily counseling, and handling personal issues like depression and anxiety. Don’t let the bitterness erode your relationship further. Instead, build a greater understanding and foster stronger bonds.

Schedule an appointment with us today, and let’s promote love, understanding, and meaningful connections in relationships that matter the most.

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